We both recently put up profiles on a popular dating site, mainly to try to find some potential cuties for J. Neither of us have ever really “dated.” We had boyfriends and girlfriends in high school (and does that really count as dating??), and then met each other three weeks into college. J has described his desire to simply date other people to gain some experience and perspective into the dating world, even if it doesn’t lead to the sexual variety that he is ultimately looking for.
I decided to put up a profile mainly as a way to give potential cuties the ability to see that yes, J’s girlfriend is normal. We thought it might be a good way to reassure vanilla girls that this open relationship stuff doesn’t make us crazies.
One piece of this is that J isn’t quite ready to be “out” at school, but there are several individuals from his class that are on this site. It sort of seems like a matter of time before someone stumbles across his profile where he is very explicit about being in an open relationship, and then sees mine where I mention the pleasure we take in going to sex clubs…
I have been pleasantly surprised so far in the number of people who are on this site and in an open relationship; all of these folks seem to have really similar experiences and perspectives as we do. I wasn’t really expecting at all to run into sexy friends through online dating, but I think we have!! Which is awesome, because the world is an even better place with more sexy friends :)
We might try an experiment where J puts up a profile in another comparable city without the mention of his open relationship status. He has not had very much luck yet in hearing from potential cuties, and we are fairly sure it has to do with his open relationship status. I mean, he is also messaging really cute girls, and I know from my past few days on there, I have received a bazillion messages and profile hits. I think it’s probably a little overwhelming for many girls doing online dating, and even if super hunky J messages them a really sweet and lengthy message, it can be difficult to message back. Not to mention again the open relationship thing. So we might just see what kind of responses J gets when it appears to just be his hunky self and amazing smile in the picture, without my presence as part of the package.
It has been interesting for me since I put up my profile, because I am amazed at the sheer number of people who have visited my profile- and the craziest part is that most of them have really low match percentages with me! I don’t think I would even look at someone’s profile if we didn’t have a fairly high match, and yet guys who have a 50% match or below are viewing my profile and messaging me. It’s also been interesting because I honestly don’t know if I would actually want to find anyone online. Like I said, I am mainly on there to be an aid to J. I am into MFMs, but I think that situation might work better if I meet someone in person and get comfortable with them before thinking of them as a potential second M… as opposed to trying to find second Ms online, especially on a more vanilla dating site. I might be interested in separate dating at some point in the future, but I don’t really think I am right now.
Anyways, it’s always fun to see how this open relationship stuff evolves and changes and flows. Who knows how long we will try the online dating world, but so far, so fun! :)