Pitfall? Again

It’s not very often when J reads my posts, and says to me: “I didn’t get it. What were you trying to say?”

So… I am going to try to re-write my main point from my last post. 

I was trying to say this:

That the endless possibilities for open relationship structures may allow two or more people to continue trying to mesh ultimately incompatible needs/desires/wants, and allow unnecessary pain to continue. These same people, within a monogamous relationship, may see their differences sooner and move on after chalking up the end to their relationship to simply that- differences in needs/desires/wants.

That was the “pitfall” I was trying to discuss.

Does that make more sense? Ha, maybe not.

I am, again, reminded of this quote off of my amazing poster from Franklin Veaux:

“It is possible for two people to deeply, profoundly love each other but not be good life partners.”

And this one:

“Relationships END; it doesn’t mean they were a failure, or that your ex-partners are bad people.”

2 thoughts on “Pitfall? Again

  1. I dunno, if love is the basis for a good relationship, then how can two people love each other so deeply, but not be able to put in the work to make a relationship?

    In my case, I do feel like someone's at fault. However, I do agree that relationships can mutually end when both partners decide its best to move their separate ways.

  2. I think two people can have a deep, indescribably profound and loving connection but not have the same values or priorities around long-term relationship stuff- money, kids, work, religion, education, etc. Or they may love each other deeply but not have the same ideas about what makes for a satisfying relationship (maybe one person identifies as poly and desires more than one intimate relationship and the other person wants a monogamous relationship). Those are my ideas behind that belief! :)

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