Have you heard of the book Five Love Languages? I haven’t read the book myself but have some good friends who loved it and found it to be incredibly useful in understanding their partners and reconnecting in ways that both people desire. You can take a brief quiz here to help you assess your own primary love language. I just took it, and, unsurprisingly to myself, scored highest in the Physical Touch category. Next was Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, and lastly, Acts of Service. I have a hunch for how J would score, and I think we may be completely opposite. One thing that I did not like about this quiz was the wistfulness of many of the statements (I wish my husband did this… I would like it if he would do this…) Many things J already does for me, and I didn’t like having to be in a mindset that felt whine-y and plaintive. However, I did like receiving confirmation of what I like and desire in my intimate relationship(s), and a reminder that we express love in different ways. Remembering that a partner may “hear” a different love language is helpful when trying to convey your love, and also helpful in having your partner remember that you may “hear” love differently and so may respond more warmly to a different “language.”

So, in light of this, I offer this affirmation for the week:

I now affirm that I will take notice of affection from others, even when they are not the expressions of connection that I am looking for or pay attention to best.

I now affirm to treat others how they want to be treated, and to teach others how I want to be treated.