Tinder & Hook Ups

I recently got on Tinder. My short reaction is: it’s a weird app. It’s like “Hot or Not,” but more confusing: are people on there for hook-ups? Or dating? Or friend dating? Are the women I see actually interested in being with women? Or am I being shown women because I want to meet women, and are those woman more interested in hooking up with guys and friending with women?

And, in the vein of “Hot or Not” I am struck by the over-simplification of Tinder. How can I possibly tell if I want to meet someone, have sex with someone, or date someone based on a few profile pictures from Facebook? Most people have few words on their actual profile so it’s difficult to tell interests, hobbies, work and play activities, and personalities from profiles.

That being said, it’s a much better platform (so far it seems) than using the Casual Encounters section from Craigslist. Time will tell if from using the app I actually meet any fun and sane people.

So far, my strategy flipping through profiles is: too many selfies (particularly pouty face selfies) get a swipe to the left (no thanks) and smiles, outdoor pictures, and matched interests get a swipe to the right (sure, I’d meet them). One match has resulted in the start of a conversation. Who knows what may come of it :)

(Side note: I have two dates this week with women! Who is stoked?? This girl!)

Have you used Tinder? What has your experience been like?

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6 thoughts on “Tinder & Hook Ups

  1. The fact that it MANDATES a Facebook profile would seem to preclude it from being just a Hookup/Casual sex site. Most people have WAY too much public exposure of their real life on their FB pages. Leveraging connections that are only erotic from here seems far too risky to the family and professional life that should be protected. Now that’s not to say that people won’t be foolish enough to use it that way. But if you want to keep your sexual connections on the down low, a tie to your Facebook life is certainly not a smart way to do it.

    • Yes, it does require having a Facebook profile. But, it doesn’t post anything TO your Facebook. I do think the risk is having your name and age and profile pictures from Facebook directly synced up to your Tinder profile. And the way it works, from how I understand it, is it uses your friends and your friends’ friends, as well as your geographic location, to show you potential matches. The likelihood of seeing someone you know is fairly high- and then if you both swipe “yes” for each other, what does that mean? How might you navigate a Tinder match with someone that you know only secondarily through someone else? All that being said, I do think the primary goal for Tinder is to find hookup/casual sex matches, and plenty of people are on there. Smart or not, it’s happening, haha :)

  2. Several of my friends have messaged me saying something like “hey this girl I messaged on tinder is friends with you!” It’s been a fun way for me to say “oh they’re great, you’ll like them, have fun!” The way it sort of subtly pulls those connections seems like a good way to get a “safety check” on a person. I’m a little sad that Tinder was past my open-time because it seems like a really fun tool. I wish there was something similar for friendship (but I said the same thing about OkCupid.) I think the benefit is you both have to be attracted to each other from the start and there’s a focus on actually meeting.

    • Yeah those are all great points. I think the way all social media works is pretty fascinating, and it is pretty cool how many people we are actually connected to through others. Tinder on! :)

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