I’m Alive and So Are You!

So it’s been a while!

Thank you to everyone who has asked or emailed me to check in. It means a lot to me! And if I haven’t written you back yet I will 🙂

A month has gone by and I stepped away from SR mostly because I mentally couldn’t keep up with myself. But I’m back.

In my world, in no particular order:
I start school (again) today
Work is going well. I’m officially a supervisor!
My dear friend who I have been crushing hard on for two years finally realized it was a good idea to try dating me! 😉
Domestic violence is a hard thing to see and hear about
I did one nonsexual escort date and long story short, I got paid $2500 and J and I have gone out to dinner with both the dude and his wife (more on that to come)
I still LOVE dancing
I only have one box left in the house to unpack
We’re flying home next weekend to see the fam
I want to go Hawaii SO BAD. Especially since today is the first really dreary day in Portland.
Have you checked out Bitch media?The falll issue is called Love/Lust and has several excellent pieces on the questioning identity, feminist porn, and more
Still trying to figure out why my most comfortable state is naked. Or rather, trying to be naked more often

What’s new with you all?

Recording Yourself

My most recent post for DatingAdvice is live today! I had fun writing this one (and no, I did not come up with that title):

6 Ways to Make a Better Sex Tape Than Kim Kardashian

Read on for my intro, and make sure to go read the actual tips!

“Who out there likes to watch themselves have sex? (Who doesn’t?) Closet mirrors, mirrors on the ceiling, bathroom mirrors – all are prime looking places to get more turned on during a solo, partnered or group sexual encounter.

What’s the next step after mirrors? Recording, of course! Not only do you get the thrill of being recorded, but you get the ability to watch your session over and over later on.
Mirrors are great for in-the-moment satisfaction, but recording has a bit more staying power.
But how do you go about recording yourselves safely and correctly?
The first time J and I recorded ourselves was after we bit the bullet and bought a nifty camcorder and tripod. It was insanely hot for both of us to fuck in front of a camera and watch it later.
I had a feeling I would love it after realizing how much I like watching myself masturbate and have sex with others in front of a mirror. I will admit that even after multiple recording sessions, I still am self-conscious listening to myself. However, I love watching J!
I’ve also recorded a group sex session for J’s birthday and done a few other encounters with other male partners on camera. These are J’s favorite pieces of porn to watch (no lie!)”
Have you recorded yourself before? Do you have any tips that I definitely missed?

Hot Springs

J and I had plans this weekend to meet up with some open friends at some hot springs near Portland. While, for whatever reason, we didn’t end up running into them, he and I had a pretty fantastic time together.

I had class all day and was super exhausted. But J packed us dinner and offered to drive there and back. We had a nice time talking with each other in the car- I like to talk his ear off about all of my cool psychology and counseling stuffs 🙂 We were able to see amazingly beautiful fall color on our drive. Even seeing the color from the car was refreshing. Our short hike to the hot springs was quiet and lovely.

Once we found a tub to use, we both stripped and got in the tub naked (despite new rules that the outside tubs are not clothing-optional; we heeded the advice of some regulars who asserted that going nude was the way to go). We had a lovely time together: massaging each other, stroking each other… J even fingered me and made me come, and I got him hard several times while we whispered dirty things to each other.

[Despite the multitude of smokers there, who eventually drove us out with their second-hand smoke, we did enjoy ourselves.]

Another fabulous part? After our satisfying walk back to the car, we got into the backseat, tore off our clothes, and did it in the car like a couple of teenagers. J and I haven’t had sex in a car in… years. It was really awesome. We got the windows foggy, I rode him, he rubbed my clit. It was hot.

A rejuvenating end to a long week. Thank you my love.


Consent, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism

J and I were at the nude beach in Maui back in May, and there was a couple that sneaked into the bushes above the beach and fucked. I don’t have a problem with public fucking (it gets me off, too)- I do have a problem with forcing other people to be around public fucking without their consent.

That’s why I think swingers’ and sex clubs are awesome- because everyone there has consented to being around sex.

And just tonight- J and I were supposed to meet a new couple via Skype. They had expressed wanting to have Skype sex, and J was clear in telling them, several times via email and text, that we were not that into Skype sex and that we preferred to just chat first. They called, we answered. They were naked. They told us they were just going to go for it anyway. Semi-shocked and open-mouthed, J and I said hi, turned off our microphone and video and let them fool around for a few minutes before they ended the call. (They ended up texting J later and admitting they were “off” and “it must be hard to deal with new couples”- ha!)

Again- I have no problem with Skype sex. I think it can be hot sometimes with the right people and right mood. But, taking advantage of a non-sexual space for your own desires (the phone call was supposed to be friendly, introductory, but not sexual yet), with the knowledge that not everyone around you is comfortable, or that people might not be, is not okay. It’s weird.

There was a great thread going on in our Open FB group today about public exposure of body parts and snapping pictures or video for personal use later. I would feel weird (and potentially violated) if I knew that a stranger had taken a picture of my crotch or my ass, or taken a video of me dancing, without my consent. So I wouldn’t do that to someone else. I would ask first (I would like to think that I would!)

While we were in Maui in May, I happened (oddly) to run into a customer of mine from work at the nude beach. He asked if he could take my picture for a fee. I told him Yes, but with my swimsuit on. He agreed. We took the photos. He gave me money. We were both happy. I think this is a great example of a consensual exchange of public exposure of one’s body for someone else’s personal use (in this case, photos) (not that money has to be involved of course).

What do you think? Does being in a public space change the terms of exposure and who can capture the exposure? What are ethical boundaries around exhibitionism and voyeurism within public spaces?