SexualityReclaimed

Menu
Skip to content
  • Home
  • couples looking for a girlfriend
  • Resources
  • Contact
  • Bisexual Dating
  • Blonde Dating
  • Buddhist Dating
  • Gamer Girl Dating
  • Army Dating
  • Asian Lesbian Dating
  • Couples Dating
  • Foreign Dating
  • Lawyer Dating
  • Women Looking For Women
  • Bodybuilder Dating
  • Female Bodybuilder Dating
  • Foot Fetish Dating
  • Granny Dating
  • Hipster Dating
  • Bbw Sex Dating
  • Crossdresser Dating
  • Furry Dating
  • International Christian Dating
  • Lesbian Adult Dating
  • Amish Dating
  • Mennonite Dating
  • Musician Dating
  • Rich Women Dating
  • Athlete Dating
  • Bootycall Dating
  • Lesbian Christian Dating
  • Black Senior Dating
  • Gay Asian Dating
  • Billionaire Dating
  • Entrepreneur Dating
  • Older Gay Dating
  • Asian Women Black Men Dating
  • Bdsm Dating
  • Black Professional Dating
  • Shemale Dating
  • Asexual Dating
  • Cosplay Dating
  • Meet Hot Guys
  • Big Boob Dating
  • Biker Dating
  • Brazil Dating
  • Conservative Dating
  • Mature Asian Dating
  • Marine Dating
  • DA Archives
  • Bbw Milf Dating
  • Cuckold Dating
  • Electrician Dating
  • Femdom Dating
  • Gay Interracial Dating
  • Gay Military Dating
  • Goth Dating
  • Gypsy Dating
  • Lonely Housewife Dating
  • Senior Gay Cross Dress Dating

TOP TIER HOT DATING SERVICE!!

JOIN FOR THE BEST HOT DATING EXPERIENCE

TRY OUT

Monthly Archives: June 2011

As the Blog Evolves :-)

Posted on June 28, 2011 by sexualityreclaimed
We decided that J will start blogging about our day-to-day and week-to-week experiences of our open relationship. How we meet people, where we meet them, what they are like, how we move forward, and how we politely decline. K will continue blogging about specific topics and issues, like jealousy and communication and coming out.
Most of all, this is our place to process our experiences, difficult and amazing ones alike! Thanks for reading and for being part of our trusted group of family and friends!
Posted in Life | Tagged blogging | Leave a comment

Family & Friend Reactions: Coming Out

Posted on June 24, 2011 by sexualityreclaimed
We decided to tell a select group of family and friends about our adventures outside of monogamy. Part of this for me (K) was about authenticity and honesty in my day-to-day life. I don’t want to feel like I am hiding any part of my identity, and my sexual identity is a major part of who I am. Another part of this for me is a little more intellectual. I feel like our society and culture has a twisted relationship to sex: we are punished for deviating outside the monogamous and married relationship, and yet every advertisement and media message we receive encourages us to dress half-naked, aim to sexually please our partner, and buy products to enhance our attractiveness and sexual appeal. Therefore, it is important to me to begin, in my own small way, to dispel the ideas that sex is “bad,” the only ways to have fulfilling sex is through a married and monogamous relationship, and that having more causal sexual encounters are also “bad.”
 
We began selecting individuals in our lives that we felt would be open to our new ideas and adventures. These individuals are the same ones that we initially invited to read this blog. All of these individuals had one thing in common: they would still love and accept us regardless of how we decided to create our relationship. We didn’t feel like we would be shunned or lectured; all of these people have open hearts and minds. We anticipated awkward conversations, and knew some of the people we told would be surprised or even shocked. But we decided it was important for our sense of honesty and authenticity to be able to tell people that we care about.
 
While the circle of people that we have talked to about all of this has grown a little bit, neither of us has talked to our parents about our decision to open up our relationship. Maybe it’s none of their business, but we would both like to. Perhaps a good way of broaching the subject would be to ask “Have you and Dad (or Mom) ever talked about or thought about having an open relationship?” I don’t know if and when I will be ready for this conversation, but it is one I think about often.
Posted in Communication, Community, Identity | Tagged coming out, family, honesty, love, vanilla friends, vulnerability | Leave a comment

2-3 Month Recap (By K)

Posted on June 24, 2011 by sexualityreclaimed
J and I began our search for a non-monogamous experience by going to a local swingers club, one that had excellent reviews online. It seemed like a very social and low pressure way to introduce ourselves to the scene. As it so happened, we met a fantastic couple our very first night there, and have grown quite close with them over the past two and a half months. We have all grown together through the experiences we have had, and are constantly evolving together through honest conversations, struggles creating and maintaining boundaries, challenges in being honest with ourselves and with each other, and moments of joy and friendship. We have definitely enjoyed getting to know each other inside and outside of the bedroom, and have found a deep friendship that surpasses, probably for many swingers, the stereotypical “swinging” relationship.
 
We have also experimented with a more casual swinging encounter, and it was just as much fun as our experiences with our more serious couple, just in different ways. There was no drama, jealousy, or insecurity issues on the part of anyone, and after everything was done, that was it. We might see them again, and we might not. We learned that we like knowing our play partners, but it is not necessary for us to know them deeply.
 
Now, we are beginning to explore other forms of open relationships, and I (K) just started reading Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. It has been a fascinating read so far, and has definitely opened my eyes to other potential ways for J and I to negotiate our newfound open relationship.  From partnered nonmonogamy, to swinging, polyamory, solo-polyamory, polyfidelity, and mixed relationships of these various orientations, I have begun to see the many ways that we can love others and develop meaningful relationships with others, leaving behind the confining and stunting feelings of jealousy, insecurity, dishonesty, and possessiveness. While I do not know what our relationship will look like two months from now, or five years from now, I know that we will still love each other, maintaining our trust in each other and respect for one another as a priority.
Posted in Community, Relationships, Sex | Tagged casual sex, friends with benefits, portland, sexy friends, swinger | Leave a comment

The Rough Beginning (written by K)

Posted on June 15, 2011 by sexualityreclaimed
So J began to describe our beginning into the world of “something more than monogamy.”
 
After reading Sex at Dawn we began a series of conversations, lasting about a month. A lot of them were intense, many difficult to get through. I had one exceptionally difficult week in particular; I felt like my whole world was getting turned upside down and I had nowhere to turn! Since I was a little girl, I have had this irrational dream that there was one man out there for me and he was going to love only me for the rest of our lives; that only I would complete and fulfill him. I experienced anxiety and depression during this time: what if J didn’t truly love me anymore? What if he would never want to marry me? What if he fell in love with someone else and left me? What if, what if, what if? What if I wasn’t good enough? What if???
 
Suddenly, about three to four weeks into our day-in and day-out conversations, staying up until all hours of the night and talking constantly and only about all of this during the day, something just clicked in my brain. It was like: oh my gosh. My partner and I love each other. Deeply. We can be 100% honest with each other. We aren’t going to leave each other. We can both be attracted to other people and still love each other. Nothing changes that. Can I really imagine only having intimate experiences with him for the rest of my life? Can anyone really expect their partner to not want to experience intimacy with anyone else? Can I really expect myself or my partner to not feel attracted to other people?
 
I suddenly became very comfortable with these ideas. Monogamy seems so unnatural. It’s not a bad thing; I’m not here to make a judgment call. But it seems unnatural for us. Our lives would only be enriched and blessed by the experiences we would gain from meeting and interacting with other respectful and thoughtful people.
 
But wait: what else is there? This was my very next roadblock. This question felt like a huge cement tower in my path to sexual and emotional liberation. What the hell else is there?? There is monogamy, and then there’s…. what? I had been taught from a very young age that we (society) value honesty, commitment, and loyalty. I have an uncle that rocked my extended family when his child from an affair came to live with his family; witnessing that shaped a lot of where I had learned that “thou shall not cheat, think about cheating, think anyone but one’s partner is attractive, ever think about one’s own sexual fulfillment, etc.” I grew up during high school experiencing insanely jealous rages over boyfriends and ex-boyfriends and crushes looking and talking with other girls; this was normal, expected, and encouraged behavior. Jealousy, competition, and monogamy, at least in my experience and socialization, all go hand-in-hand. And, that meant this was the only option for experiencing relationships, romantic or otherwise.
 
Well, all it took was a little research. J took the lead, as it was about this time that I was still reeling a bit in shock from my world-turned-upside-down state of mind. We began reading about swinging, polyamory, etc, and the Wikipedia page on Non-monogamy got us started on our journey outside of monogamy.
Posted in Communication, Community, Life | Tagged family, honesty, love, monogamy, nonmonogamy | 2 Comments

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 78 other followers

Recent Posts
  • Lifestyle Clubs in Portland
  • Anti anxiety medication and poly
  • Calendaring
  • Unicornland & Other Great Media
  • Coming Out Like a Porn Star
Top Posts & Pages
  • Double Vaginal Penetration
  • New Horizons Adult Social Club
  • Women's Self Pleasure Circle
  • MFM- The Good and The Bad
  • Hotwife Ethics
  • Hickeys
  • Calendaring
  • Anti anxiety medication and poly
  • An Insider's Guide to Hotwifing and Cuckolding
  • Lifestyle Clubs in Portland
Archives
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • January 2015
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
Categories
  • Advice
  • Communication
  • Community
  • Ethics
  • Fantasies
  • Feminism
  • Identity
  • Life
  • Media
  • Meditation
  • Relationships
  • Sex
  • Sex Work
  • Uncategorized
Tags
attachment bdsm bisexuality blogging body image book review boundaries breakup casual sex cheating chemistry coming out consent control counseling craigslist cuckold dating domestic violence dreams education exhibitionist family fmf friends with benefits gender group sex honesty hookups hotwife interview intimacy intimate sex J jealousy kink law love ltr marriage masturbation mfm monogamy nonmonogamy nre open relationship orgasm patriarchy politics polyamory porn portland power play privilege prostitute queer religion research safer sex self care sex education sexual violence sexy friends slut shaming social justice social media social work stds stripping swinger touch toys values vanilla friends vulnerability
  • The WordPress.com Blog
  • Orgasm Count
  • Sex And Psychology
  • Undercover in the Suburbs
  • The Yoga Stripper
  • Brute Reason
  • Loving Without Boundaries
  • striptherapy
  • thepolyorange
  • Psychology Today - Sex
  • Poly Chicago
  • Polysingleish
  • Vagina Sex Tube
  • The LoveLife Blog
  • thepeopleihavesleptwith.com/feed
  • Love Outside the Box (formerly: Uncharted Love)
  • Tits and Sass
  • The Radical Poly Agenda
  • The Polyamory Paradigm
  • suggestivetongue.com/
  • Solo Poly
  • Sex Ed, Honestly
  • The Gottman Institute
  • Practical Polyamory™
  • My Sex Professor
  • The Work of Louisa Leontiades
  • Life on the Swingset
  • KIMCHI CUDDLES
  • Journals of a Polyamorous Triad
  • hotwifeblog.com
  • girlonthenet
  • CammiesOnTheFloor
  • BETWEENMYSHEETS
  • Skepticism, Properly Applied
  • Poly Nirvana
Meta
  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com
The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

Orgasm Count

The race to 100 orgasms

Sex And Psychology

Undercover in the Suburbs

The Yoga Stripper

Brute Reason

Care and responsibility.

Loving Without Boundaries

striptherapy

My adventures in self-discovery and making people happy through stripping

thepolyorange

polyamory & more

Psychology Today - Sex

Poly Chicago

Perspectives On Polyamory From The Windy City

Polysingleish

adventures in honest non-monogamy

Vagina Sex Tube

The LoveLife Blog

Love Outside the Box (formerly: Uncharted Love)

Tits and Sass

By and about sex workers

The Radical Poly Agenda

The Polyamory Paradigm

suggestivetongue.com/

Solo Poly

Life and love from way, way off the Relationship Escalator

Sex Ed, Honestly

The Gottman Institute

Practical Polyamory™

My Sex Professor

The Work of Louisa Leontiades

Life on the Swingset

Life less monotonous, life less monogamous; Life on the Swingset

KIMCHI CUDDLES

Journals of a Polyamorous Triad

hotwifeblog.com

girlonthenet

Just touch me. Yeah, like that.

CammiesOnTheFloor

BETWEENMYSHEETS

Skepticism, Properly Applied

Criticism is not uncivil

Poly Nirvana

Love, Life and Rational Polyamory

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy