A Billion Wicked Thoughts

I read and thoroughly digested A Billion Wicked Thoughts by Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam.

I take one MAJOR issue with this book: the authors take the trends they see through their Internet research, and instead of saying, “Whoa! Look at what people like/desire/find attractive/find sexy, etc! Isn’t this crazy that no one talks about any of this! It’s clear more people have kinks and fetishes and more people watch porn than we recognize! Cool!,” they attempt to say “Whoa! Look at what people like/desire/find attractive/find sexy, etc! That means that female brains are designed differently than male brains! That’s why we are so different! No wonder women are jealous of emotional connections and men are jealous of physical connections! It’s part of the neural design!”

A message like the latter could not be more opposed to what J and I have learned and hold so dearly from Sex at Dawn. Males and females, while different sexes, are socialized differently. That is why we accept jealousy, controlling behavior, and possessiveness in our relationships. Not because we are hard-wired to feel that way.

Anyways, reading the book as a description of what people today are doing sexually, at least online, is fascinating. It is a good look at the kinds of porn, video and written, that people are searching for online, as well as the trends in sentiments toward different kinks, fantasies, and fetishes. Their research supports the trend in heterosexual women watching gay porn, men getting off on multiple men-single woman porn (also known as “gang-bang porn,” but I prefer J’s new name for it- Goddess Worshiping, or GW, porn) because of the sperm competition theory, the “erotical illusions” of straight men being attracted to male-to-female transgender porn (the guy gets both the boobs and the penis!), and the notion that male sexual desire “sets” sometime during adolescence while female sexual desire is fluid and ever-changing in response to cultural trends.

I found all of those trends fascinating, especially as they were depicted in popular search terms, OK Cupid survey questions, most-viewed porn, and most popular fan fiction, erotica, and slash. 

I found the authors’ backwards mentality disheartening: just because more women read erotica than watch video porn, and just because most erotica features alpha males that ultimately succumb to the beautiful heroine’s Magic Hoo Hoo and hers alone while professing their undying and singular love, DOES NOT mean that the female brain is designed to value emotional and psychological connections over physical ones. Similarly, just because more men watch video porn and just because most video porn features large penises, large boobs, and wild, raunchy screaming and yelling DOES NOT mean that the male brain is designed to value over-the-top physical cues over emotional and psychological connections. What it means, to me at least, is that this is the current cultural trend in online porn and erotica: more women read erotica and sexual fan fiction than watch video porn, and more men watch video porn than read erotica. And I personally think that the stereotypical characters presented in erotica (alpha males) and video porn (men with large penises and women with large boobs) are indicative of our culture’s current obsession (or preference) for these characters and images.

This book is a fairly quick read, and I recommend it with a grain of salt. Take it as a current read on our country’s sexual temperature, and you will find some fascinating tidbits!

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