To Out Myself or Not Out Myself

This has come up a number of times for me in the past year and a half.

Someone hits on me… we get to talking (this always happens in the gym, by the way… I’m trying to work out!). I have this frantic internal dialogue: do I out myself to prove that people in open relationships exist? Will that be interpreted as evidence that I am into them? Am I into them? If I’m not into them, is it worth it still to tell them I am “available” even if I am not actually feeling available to them? Or, do I keep the whole open relationship thing to myself to ward off having an awkward conversation? If I am into them, is this how I want to start off the whole dating conversation- by awkwardly explaining to them that, no, my BF won’t mind that he hit on me because we see other people sometimes?

Our lovely and sexy friend, when faced with this situation, simply waves her wedding band and says, “I’m sorry! I’m very married” 🙂 I like that approach more and more.

It’s when my damn people pleasing comes in and bites me in the butt. I just want to be open and honest about myself, and it is really important to me to be a relationship diversity advocate. I just want to tell everyone about it, and just for the sake of spreading awareness. I’m not even looking for a date! But that’s the issue. That person is looking for a date. And I need to remember that and take their feelings into consideration before waving my open relationship banner without thinking about the repercussions.

I guess these are nice challenges to face.

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