Newbies

I love, love, love meeting new couples with J. It is one of the most fun things we do together. We both dress up, we socialize, we get to see each other smiling, laughing, and making good conversation. I get to see another girl smile at J, and I get to see him make her laugh. I get to feel another person’s slow gaze. And then J and I go home, and we lay in bed together, and I am grateful at once for our relationship and for him as a partner and person. I feel lucky and happy and sexy and energized. It’s so much fun!

I especially love meeting couples who exploring open relationship/poly/swinging territory for the very first time. I get to see their faces as we tell them stories and about our experiences, and we both relive all of our fun and crazy experiences. We ask them questions, they explain their motivations and interests and fantasies.

It has been more than once that a couple J and I sit down to frozen yogurt or a drink or dinner with reached out to us as their very first couple. It is continually fascinating to me that there is a steady stream of people who pop up interested in exploring outside the box of monogamy (especially on Craigslist- new people are posting and replying to posts every week on there!). It tells me that open relationships are on the upward climb, tipping point style. I really do think they will be more normalized during our lifetime, and hopefully it will be as common to ask about relationship parameters as it is to ask about having kids or what kind of birth control to use.

Also, another thing that J and I have talked about a lot: chemistry. Why is it so undefinable, ephemeral, non-particular? It’s either there or it’s not. We don’t have types. Sometimes it grows over time, and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes I am drawn to personalities that I know are rough or arrogant, and sometimes I am totally not. Sometimes I am drawn to sweet, and sometimes not. It used to bother both of us that we wouldn’t feel chemistry with new potential playmates or partners. We would be so excited about the possibility of having sex with new people that we thought were sweet and funny and smart, that we would get so disappointed if that spark wasn’t there. Now, we both just shrug our shoulders and laugh with them and have a good time and count ourselves grateful that we have some new friends. Sexy friends, that is 🙂

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