And I still am having a blast dancing!!
My body is exhausted. I literally lay in bed for a minute, and fall asleep trying to read. My knees are taking the worst of it- I’ve heard taking a glucosamine supplement can help and I might try that. I also am going to cut down on the hours I am working. This week was too much (two single shifts and two back-to-back double shifts).
I’ve made good money, and I get a total thrill still out of dancing for people. Especially people I haven’t seen before, or people that are clearly into watching me (who wants to dance for someone who looks bored to be there?)
I also have a couple of work crushes- bartenders, other dancers… my normally high libido has been even higher lately because of my crushes and just because of the environment (naked ladies and exhibitionism, geez!!)
One thing that I really need to figure out, though, is my game plan: how long am I going to do this for? How can I make sure that I am still keeping my eyes open for jobs that I want to do long-term? How can I stay away from getting too tied to the amount of money I make for taking off my clothes? I had been saying that I would dance for as long as I enjoyed it and until I found a vanilla/socially accepted job in sexual health. I also need to figure out: how can I assure my parents I have money to live on without disclosing where I am getting my money from? They ask too many questions, and I am a terrible liar. Hmmm…
Also- I am increasingly interested in the experience of other dancers. Why did they start? How long have they been dancing? How long do they want to continue? How has it affected their sexual experiences with romantic partners? Do they have people in their lives supporting their decision to dance, or are they shamed for it? What kind of substance use and abuse do they have? Do they enjoy dancing? Do they get any psychological benefit from it? What do they do with their money? What kinds of game plans do they have?
One more shift today, and I will be so ready for a long weekend 🙂