“So when–why–did my little red Corvette veer onto the freeway of indecency? I think I’ve finally got is sussed. Most girls get into stripping because they’ve discovered a fast crowd, are mired in financial woe or have lived with dysfunction for so long that they’re naturally drawn to the fucked-up family dynamic in strip clubs. For me, it was the polar opposite. I had spent my entire life choking on normalcy, decency and Jif sandwiches with the crusts amputated. For me, stripping was an unusual kind of escape. I had nothing to escape from but privilege, but I claimed asylum anyway. At twenty-four, it was my last chance to reject something and become nothing. I wanted to terrify myself. Mission accomplished.”
~Diablo Cody, Candy Girl, pg 210.
This was her story; not mine. So obviously that passage doesn’t fit me one hundred percent. But it hits close to home for me; I feel a lot of truth in that passage with my own story. Claustrophobic and smothering normalcy along with reclaiming my body and sexuality and disengaging from my mom emotionally during counseling and exploring my exhibitionist side and learning about an under-represented and un-heard population and getting to exercise and getting off while working… that’s my story. So far. 🙂 The whole terrifying myself part though? I think that part is relevant. I am definitely not adequately terrified yet. I have hardly quenched my thirst.
This book was spectacular. And clearly a fast read since I read it one day. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for an insightful, funny, pained, and heroic perspective on the experience of this unlikely stripper.