Remember this post of mine on getting a stage dance for my birthday?

Well I am going to work at that club. 

I was back at work this week after my month-long hiatus, and the joy it gives me is almost indescribable. I love it so much. It feeds me on so many different levels. And so when the manager at my regular club did not give me as many shifts I wanted this week, I decided to branch out. And I thought, why not audition at that one club that I absolutely love? What’s stopping me?

Honestly, I have been intimidated. Intimidated by the amazing pole dancers who work there. Intimidated by how hot most of the women are. Intimidated by the huge space. Intimidated by the very sexually charged atmosphere. Intimidated by how loud the music can be.

But I went for it anyway. I auditioned, and afterward, I filled out my schedule request for next week. I am pretty stoked about coming full circle with my stripping experience.

But there were so many interesting legal questions poppping up in my head during my audition process. This club has so many fucking rules. Am I really an independent contractor? It certainly doesn’t seem like it.

1. You should arrive 15 minutes early. Every half hour you are late, you pay the house $20.
2. You must be in the stand-by area 1 minute before your song starts. Otherwise, the bouncers will be looking for you.
3. The private dances are two-way touching; that is, the customer is allowed to touch your ass, thighs, and everywhere on your tits except for the aureola and nipple.
4. The house fee is only $2… but…
5. The house keeps 20% of all private dance fees. 1 song is $40, 3 songs are $100, 30 minutes is $250, 1 hour is $500. So you get to keep $36 for 1 song, $80 for 3 songs, $200 for 30 minutes, and $400 for 1 hour.
6. You pay $5 to each bouncer. There are 1-4 bouncers during each shift.
7. Whatever you have left over, you are supposed to pay 10% of that to the DJ. So if you have $500 left after tipping the bouncers, you are *supposed* to tip the DJ $50.
8. WTF.
9. I hate tip-outs. HATE THEM.
10. You must fill out the hard copy schedule by Thursday (eg, you must submit your schedule request in person). If you fill it out on Friday, you pay the house $10. If you fill it out on Saturday, you pay $20. If you fill it out on Sunday, you pay $50.
11. You are not allowed to bring in any outside food that is not vegan.

Some pluses of this place: 
-I love that they do girl-girl sex. LOVE IT. The thought of being sexual with women is amazing. The thought of doing it for money turns me on.
-There are security cameras in all of the private dance areas, and a bouncer just sits and watches all of the videos to make sure everyone is safe and doing well.
-The girls I met last night seemed happy and friendly.
-The staff people I met were really nice, friendly, genuine.
-The stage is nice, even, smooth, flat. The poles are good quality.
-I have talked to one girl who danced there for a bit, and she said that the amount of money she made was worth the nutty tip-out policies. For her, that meant taking home $200-300 for a shift.

Here’s hoping that it’s a good experience! And if not, at least I will be able to say that I worked at my favorite strip club :-)