I have a confession to make:
I. Am. Not. Smooth.
At dating. Or asking people out. Or picking up on vanilla dating social cues.
I asked a girl out, who works at our gym, (this was like a year and a half ago) by writing her a note about how I thought she was cute and included my phone number.
Self-compassion: it was my very first time asking a girl out. Very first time. It makes sense that my dating sense would revert to how my brain worked at 13: passing love notes. Cute, right? But also embarrassing at age 23.
Guy at gym keeps hitting on me. I talk to him, end up telling him about our open relationship. He takes it as an invitation. It wasn’t.
Self-compassion: He was a poor receiver of communication, even though I could have done a better job of telling him that I wasn’t interested in dating him.
Nice guy at grocery store says he’d love to hang out. I don’t pick up on any hint of being hit on. I give him my number because I can’t think of how to say no nicely. He wanted to “hang out” hang out. I feel dumb.
Self-compassion: I was just trying to be nice. Good karma, right?
Exhibits D-? :
How many first dates have I been on where I don’t even know what the fuck to say? All I feel like doing is hiding under a rock. My face flushes, my mouth dries out, my hands get clammy, my thoughts race. What to say, what to say, what to say? Bonus points: I’ve even been told that I am awkward on a first date! (Teasing you M!! … although you did tell me that. Evidence for my case.)
Self-compassion: Does anyone like first dates? (Actually, I am pretty sure I know some people who do… fuck)
I wanted to share this video, but I guess the embed code wasn’t working, so here’s the link: