I forgot to include a few things in my last post:
Part of how The Work is so powerful is Byron Katie’s encouragement that one “lives” the turnarounds. This includes making amends with those that you have hurt (even if initially you felt hurt, doing the turnarounds and finding examples of how those are also true sheds light on your part in the hurt occurring).
For example, she says:
Self-realization is not complete until it lives as action. Live the turnarounds. When you see how you have been preaching to others, go back and make amends, and let them know how difficult it is for you to do what you wanted them to do. Let them know the ways that you manipulated and conned them, how you got angry, used sex, used money, and used guilt to get what you wanted…
Reporting is another powerful way I found to manifest self-realization. In the first year after I woke up to reality, I often went to the people I had been judging and shared my turnarounds and realizations. I reported only what I had discovered about my part in whatever difficulty I was experiencing. (Under no circumstances did I talk about their part.) … You are doing this for your own freedom. Humility is the true resting place. ~p98-99
Also, I love this Q&A from the end of her book:
Q: How can I learn to forgive someone who has hurt me very badly?
A: Judge your enemy, write it down, ask four questions, turn it around. See for yourself that forgiveness means discovering that what you thought happened didn’t. Until you can see that there is nothing to forgive, you haven’t really forgiven. No one has ever hurt anyone. No one has ever done anything terrible. There’s nothing terrible except your uninvestigated thoughts about what happened. So whenever you suffer, inquire, look at the thoughts you’re thinking, and set yourself free. Be a child. Start from the mind that knows nothing. Take your ignorance all the way to freedom. ~p297