I disclosed dancing to my cohort this week. I thought I was going to throw up, but I did it! Also, now that it’s over with, I feel like school and talking to people in my cohort feels easy-breezy.
In counseling this week, I began opening up this new idea of mine: that my professors don’t control my future. I can disagree with them about the ethics of dancing and client safety, and I can still be an awesome therapist when I am done with my program. I don’t need their approval. I just need mine. That is huge for me. Really, really huge.
I am going home this weekend (the first time in 3 years!) and I feel so much more relieved just thinking about it. Somehow, coming out to my class has taken a huge amount of pressure off of my guilt and weirdness about not telling my parents. I think, too, that piece about not needing my professor’s approval is beginning (super slowly and tiny bit by tiny bit) to spread to other deeply-rooted associations (i.e., my parents). I have pretty much always needed and wanted and sought my parents approval- but I am feeling that pressure alleviating a bit. Thank goodness.