It was 11:42pm (or something like that) on Christmas Eve when I saw my best friend from high school calling; she had already called once and left a message I hadn’t yet listened to. I’m tired, I need to go brush my teeth, I thought and was about to let her go to my voicemail again. Rapidly, I realized why she must be calling: They got engaged. My intuition turned out to be correct.
My BFF and her BF have been together since high school and haven’t dated hardly at all outside of dating each other (that’s something like 8 years I think, with a couple of short breaks during college). And now, they are getting married. They both have huge families, and I imagine their wedding will be fairly big. Their engagement photos have been on Facebook, and many people have shown them support and love. I am sure the encouragement will continue for the rest of their relationship.
Last week, I had the privilege of witnessing my cousin and her girlfriend get married. While they have known each other for about a year (I think!), they have dated for about 4-5 months. Her family has been extremely un-supportive, and while it could be amplified by the brevity of their relationship, the lack of support is more due to the fact that it’s a same sex relationship. My cousin has a much smaller online social network, giving the appearance that, in comparison to my friend, her relationship is far less supported by those in her community. Her celebration was small (there were about 16 of us in attendance), but mighty in spirit.
These two relationships couldn’t be more different in how they appear and how the two individuals came to know one another and how the two decided to get married.
What do they have in common and do they have the same value? Who decides?
For all that other people like to talk and gossip about others’ relationships, isn’t up to those actually in the relationships to determine their worth and value? No one knows better about what relationships are important to them and why and how they want to display them and celebrate them.
Love is love. And we should all encourage, support, and validate LOVE.