Lately, I have become much more attuned to the fact that the women in my life are a mercurial bunch, making up silvery, green, blue tidal waves, crashing, swirling, soothing, refreshing.
Friends, lovers, sexual friends, girlfriends, best friends, play partners, want-to-be-lovers, want-to-be-girlfriends, want-to-be-friends.
As many of my long-time readers are aware, I have pined for a girlfriend-type relationship for quite some time. And since breaking up with my first girlfriend this past fall, I have in various ways, pushed romantic connections with women to the sidelines of my mind. In the past few weeks I have witnessed relationships in my life popping up in various ways, old and new, showing me the beautiful ways in which I am connected to women in my life.
I’ve been more appreciative recently of the ways in which all of these relationships are fitting together, like puzzle pieces. It’s been another way for me to gain experience and perspective into how my open relationship allows me to get different things from different people and relationships. I’ve had the experience of getting a lot of my “being with women” desires met in one relationship, and now I am having the experience of cultivating a rich network of woman friends and lovers and partners who all bring something unique and meaningful to my life. (Mind you, that network has been present in my life for a while, but it has been growing recently in both breadth and depth, and, like I mentioned at the beginning, I am more attuned to it recently.)
Thinking about the post on patience I just wrote, I am feeling more patient right now- feeling peaceful with the relationships present in my life, grateful for their presence, and mindful that everything I need I already have.