birth day

writing last week was intense.

I went to counseling. J and I had sex. I talked with a few close people about my initial realizations. I coped so I could get through my work week. I took some time off.

I felt off on my birthday but not so off I couldn’t enjoy it. We soaked in a hot tub, went out for fancy dinner, and then to our club. It was good, solid.

Saturday night, though, dang. It’s like my body and soul come alive when I dance naked. What is that? I’m in love with the world, even as I feel shitty. It’s just like none of it matters. And even better, I got to share myself in that space with so many of my best people. That felt like my birthday. That night has carried me through the first part of the week. Also strawberry cake is yummy and also makes a difference.

As has the fact that spring makes people come alive, and so I am now talking with a handful of new ladies online and have a couple of dates set up. And a crush of mine saw me dance on Saturday and I just love a good crush. Even as I am coping with thinking about rape, I feel enlivened and whole, energetic and happy.

Thanks for all of the positive vibes. I felt them last week.

peace

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