Traveling as three: some things I learned

Talk before you leave about the following questions (super solid answers are not needed but the conversation should be started and some hypotheticals discussed):

  • What kind of 1:1 time does each dyad need and want? How much? Where? When? Will sex be involved?
  • What kinda of things does the third person need and want when the other dyad is having 1:1 time?
  • What are sleeping arrangements like?
  • What dynamic are we presenting (verbally, through body language, etc) to our family members that we are staying with and visiting? How much will we tell them? What is our story?
  • How will we address hurt feelings and miscommunication as various dyads and as a group of three?

And try to keep the following in mind:

  • Traveling as a group of three likely means that 1:1 time is not inherently built in. At least on my trip, the default was that the three of us would be together. 
  • Traveling as three, instead of two, changes the dynamic in new and positive ways. Remember why you love having this other person around? Now you get to experience them in a new way.
  • This is an opportunity to test your coping and communication skills, and to test your sense of flexibility. Mantra: my relationship is a vehicle for personal growth.
  • You are invested in everyone’s happiness, needs, and wants. You have a right to voice your needs and wants and comfort levels, and you are responsible to hearing others’ as well.

Clearly, this was a new experience for all of us. There were some rough spots and some really great spots and I’m super grateful that we had the opportunity to experience something new and growth-inducing. 

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