HUMP! 2013

My life is complete! For now! Because we have now been to HUMP! 2013! :D

Here is/was the line-up (the festival is in Portland next weekend):

hump lineup 2013

My favorites/points of interest/etc.:

-I voted The Legend of Gabe Harding as Best Humor (J voted this way as well). I love that it featured male porn stars’ performance issues remedied via a male fluffer. Other favorite “humor” pieces included Mouthpiece, Japanese Catholic Lesbian School Girls in Love, and Raiders of the Lost Arse.

-I voted His as Best Kink. It was fucking spectacular. One, I absolutely adore “Crave You” (Adventure Club remix, obvs); the movement in the piece was beautifully synchronized with the song. Two, rope = sexy. Three, the D/S component to the relationship was represented gorgeously. I can’t say enough lovey things about this one. It gave me shivers. Second runner-up for Best Kink was Fun With Fire. Both J and I enjoyed this one because it showed the real interactions between the couple, including shock, laughter, hesitance, trust, and comfort. It was also pretty great. J voted for Fun With Fire as Best Kink.

-For Best Sex, I voted Sex House. I loved the raunchy, sweaty, drug-filled atmosphere and the desirous, hot sex between the two lesbian couples. Surprising to J and our sexy friends, I also loved Daddy’s Dolls. I thought the lead person was hot as fuck, and the sensuality radiating between her (using female pronouns because I don’t know what is most appropriate) and the other person was super hot for me to watch. I almost voted Ouroboros as Best Sex, but then decided to vote it as Best in Show; J did vote Ouroboros for Best Sex.

-Best in Show: Ouroboros. It was such a well-done piece. After showing the sex scene between two gay men, the film rewinds scene by scene, back to the hallway and the club and the drinking and the dancing and finally back to a scene of one of the men laying down to masturbate to porn featuring him and the man we see him with at the beginning of the film (a little confusing to relate via text, but it was breathtaking).

[Consider the definition of Ouroboros, in case you weren't aware (from Wikipedia):

"The Ouroboros or Uroboros is an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating its own tail. The Ouroboros often symbolize self-reflexivity or cyclicality, especially in the sense of something constantly re-creating itself, the eternal return, and other things such as the phoenix which operate in cycles that begin anew as soon as they end. It can also represent the idea of primordial unity related to something existing in or persisting from the beginning with such force or qualities it cannot be extinguished."

Love it!]

J voted for Raiders of the Lost Arse as Best in Show- he thought it was really clever because of all of the movie and copyright references it made.

Other pieces that are so noteworthy but just didn’t make it into my voting:

-Fuck: Also phenomenal. Slam poetry about fucking narrates over gorgeous images of Black women in the nude. I loved the representation of women of color and the representation of fat women. And, the slam poetry itself was powerful.

-Art Primo: I loved the sensual and slow nature of this one. It reminded me of ArtPorn- the stylized nature reminded me of boudoir photos.

-Inspired Surreality: Yay! We totes know these rockin’, smokin’ porn stars! Well done, you two! Super sexy.

This year’s bonus props were bowling balls, butt plugs, and Hillary Clinton, so there were quite a few pieces with those props. Other common themes: come shots (soooo many come shots this year). And there were two pieces that featured instruments (Mouthpiece and Beethoven’s Stiff). There was also quite a bit of both gay and lesbian sex. And, I was impressed and happy to see the number of pieces that showed condom use.

Yay HUMP! We even got Dan Savage as our MC and I EVEN bought myself a HUMP! shirt. Because I am cool like that ;)

Jacuzzi Tub: Where It’s At

I don’t know if I have used a jacuzzi tub before, and if I have, I certainly had never used one like I used one tonight.

J and I had showered together, and it was pretty routine: share the water, shampoo, soap, scrub, wash face, rinse, smack each other’s asses, kiss a little. And then the chemistry that I feel with him came rushing over me, the burning want-you sensation in my abdomen and pussy.We started making out more and more. I knelt down, started sucking his cock, taking him in deeper and deeper into my mouth. We switched positions, and my pussy has never felt so good. I half-pulled him back up and turned around, guiding his cock into my aching pussy. He pounded me, coming closer and closer to coming. Every so often he would pull out and rub my clit so I come come, melting with the hot water.


He left for a moment to grab a cock sheath, and we started filling up the tub. My heart was pounding, my pussy aching for more. Sometimes it takes a lot of warm-up in order for me to take a cock sheath, but not so much tonight. I wanted it. After J slid his sheath on, we resumed our standing doggy style position, and he pounded me harder, faster, harder.

I had J sit on the edge of the tub so I could slide down onto his cock riding him hard, up and down, back and forth. We made out, he slapped my ass, pulled my hair.

Then, the part that made me hottest: J sat in the tub, and I got on top of him. The buoyancy of the water, the jets and bubbles: they were all too much for me to handle. J’s cock and the sheath were making my pussy wetter and wetter, pulsating more and more with every motion I exerted. Before long I was rubbing my clit furiously, coming harder and harder, shuddering with the desire for this man I love and want.

I wanted J’s come inside me, to fill me up. I whispered dirty things to him, fantasies of ours we share, and I told him what I wanted him to do to me. We even role played a little, the first time ever.

Thank you Seattle, for a fabulous vacation. Thank you jacuzzi tub, for making my hot sex even hotter.

Self Care Time

Inspired by Barbara Wynne’s blog dedicated to documenting her 60 days of self pleasure, and inspired by my own knowledge that I have to be able to provide to myself things that I need, I decided to actually schedule time in my calendar for self care.

I bought some yummy bubble bath at the store (two different kinds- why not?), and when I got home I ran a steaming hot bath and lit a candle. I did some chores while the tub filled (because a picked up living environment is part of how I feel sane and calm), and then put on a face mask. When the tub was filled, I closed the door and turned off the bathroom light. It was super lovely to just have the candle light. I dipped in and let my whole body sink into the hot water. The smell was heavenly, and I remembered how much I love bubbles in my bath. Since dancing, the hot water I have enjoyed has either been an epsom salt bath (which is amazing for sore muscles) or the hot tub at our gym (which I love because of the jets, but the chlorine kills me). This was perfect, though, because what I was really going for was aromatherapy and silky water. I got it.

And almost immediately after getting settled in, I felt turned on. I wanted to really be with myself. I have been feeling pretty down about myself lately, body image wise. I focused on simply meditating: appreciating each part of my body, and trying to send loving energy to each part of my body. I caressed my whole body slowly and gently, thinking nice thoughts to myself. Eventually, I began to play with my pussy and ass and tits and had an enveloping orgasm. I squeezed my tits hard, fingered my ass, vigorously rubbed my clit, and even murmured dirty things to myself. I felt deeply relaxed and at peace afterward and felt my afterglow until I had drained the tub and rinsed off in the shower with cool water.

Remember to care for yourself and to truly appreciate yourself. Take time to remember why you love you. Honor yourself.

Sexy Shower Time

So in my ongoing quest to rediscover my orgasms sans Hitachi, I pulled out one of my favorite dildos to use in the shower. (I’ve had some awesome ones with J recently, too. Cowgirl has been one of the best positions to really get into. I have remembered that after a lot of G spot stimulation, my clit gets more and more sensitive and the sensation alone of J’s lower abdomen on my clit while I ride him is definitely enough to get me off. They are beautiful, full-body, writhing-with-pleasure kinds of orgasms. The ones that mean I can hardly move afterwards.)

You know when the mood strikes you- you just feel turned on from being alive and realize you need to satisfy that itch?

So I did. I got my awesome dildo out, my silicone lube, and got in the shower. I love the suction cup base and I love the challenge from the size of the dildo. I even fingered my ass, which I rarely do. I came multiple times, and my last amazing orgasm happened while I was riding the dildo and fingering my ass. I loved the sensation on my finger of my ass and pussy contracting, relaxing, pulsating while I orgasmed. 

There is something, too, about being sexy in the shower- or any water for that matter. I love being sexy in hot tubs and at the lake and in the ocean. It’s different for me than my other preferred masturbating area- in my bedroom in front of the closet mirror. I realized that all of my processing and stress from the past couple of months left me dry of my personal sex life, and I feel happy that I have been feeling in the mood again, and aware enough to take advantage of myself ;-) 

I am also happy to have a more consistent personal sex life again, as this was something that came up for me in counseling a little while ago. It had to do with being in touch with myself and giving myself the touch and intimacy that I desire in my life. I feel relaxed and happy remembering that I can give myself some of those things that I desire.

Having Sex to Connect & De-Stress

The benefits of sex:

Huffington Post

Lower blood pressure, better sleep, stronger pelvic floor muscles, relieves pain, creates deeper intimacy, burns calories, boost immunity, relieve stress, etc.

If I am ever feeling stressed out for whatever reason, I find that if J and I are physically intimate (which includes cuddling, massaging, and/or having sex) my stress no longer is the predominant force in my mind. I can look at my stressors, but they don’t control my emotions in the same way that they did before we were intimate.

Today was a really good example. I was feeling overwhelmed by PhD applications, by the unresolved emotions from a break up, and general feelings of anxiety. He hugged me and after a little bit, we had some awesome and raunchy lovin’ time. I felt totally zoned out and blissed out. I stopped thinking about the things that were bothering me, and focused on the present state of connecting with him. I left reality and just sort of floated for a while. We got our hearts pumping and felt each other and fantasized together. And afterwards, it was like my mental state was reset and I was pretty much back to normal.

Some bonus info about our raunchy sex:

-We shared some steamy fantasies about gangbangs, both planned ones and ideal ones. It was hot, hot, hot!!
-J figured out how to make me come buckets. And I mean buckets. Apparently a lot of pressure on my mound while he penetrated me built up a ton of pressure until I couldn’t take it anymore. And then it was a glass worth of come that came shooting out. Insane!

Sometimes Fantasies are Just Fantasies…

…and sometimes dreams really do come true.

Yes, you heard me correctly. Sometimes dreams really do come true.

Is reality ever as good as the fantasy? Should we always try to make a fantasy a reality? Or should we accept a fantasy as such and keep it reserved for whispers and aching insides?

I have accepted that sometimes this is the case. For example, I still have sex dreams about my high school crush. We never talked. We weren’t friends. And yet I have this image built up in my mind from high school: my fantasy of being with him. And it is still with me. But would I ever try to actually realize this fantasy? No. It stays with me, in my head, as part of my personal sex life. Similarly, I have little mini crushes on a few different people in my life right now, but for reasons I am saving for another post, I don’t have the intent of moving those crushes beyond the crush stage. The feelings that crushes create, and the fantasies that result from them, are delicious. And sometimes it is more than enough to simply enjoy those fantasies. (The idea of a fantasy is so fascinating to me, too, because my fantasies are very much just images and feelings. For J, I think they are much more detailed and specific. If I am fantasizing about a particular person or act, I am usually just fantasizing about how I feel. I think J is fantasizing about details and an actual sequence of events.)

But other times… other times, we make it happen. Like, finally

If you are not picking up on this yet, I am actually referring to our gang bang fantasy. It happened, folks, and now we’re both just hooked.

First of all, let me discuss the use of the terms “gang bang” versus the term we created, “goddess worship.” They are two qualitatively different fantasies. In the first, I give up control, I am submissive, I am completely dominated in a hyper-masculine environment. In the second, I am completely catered to and I feel worshiped through the comments and actions of the people involved. I have both fantasies. I still do not like the term “gang bang.” I need another phrase to get across the idea of giving up control and letting my body be used by a bunch of hungry men. “Gang bang” does not accurately describe my fantasy because, to me, “gang bang” connotes violence and coercion, and neither of those things are part of my fantasy. I guess I will just have to keep thinking on it.

So. It was amazing. Four friends plus J meant I had my hands (and other parts) full for a good two hours. I was so mentally turned on that there was a wet spot on the bed bigger than I have ever made before (I wish I could have filmed that for our squirting-loving friends!!). The vulnerability I felt and the resulting excitement was incredible. We started off with me going down on everyone. Then J went down on me and fingered me. And then J turned them loose. Within ten seconds I had a cock in my pussy, a cock in my mouth, and another one in my hand. They rotated through, changing my position from on my back to doggy style to me riding them. Spit roast (me in doggy style while going down on someone) is one of my favorite positions, and I got that a lot. We used the bed restraints and I was blind folded part of the time. Everyone came… many times. And after they all left, J and I reconnected emotionally and physically, and that was amazing. And we have continued to reconnect all day today.

There is more to my “gang bang” fantasy that we did not get to experience. Namely, I want to be a cum slut. And because I am Ms. Public Health, that is a no-go. It makes me so hot to think about four or five or ten loads in my pussy. Jesus. But that just ain’t gonna happen. And that is part of the fantasy that will stay as part of our whispers and aches during our play and lovin’ time.

And now I am in the midst of planning something a similar encounter to celebrate J’s birthday… Only this time it will be filmed, as a surprise for J (as in, he is not as involved with the planning and he won’t be there for it). I am so excited to create another experience that we can watch again, and again, and again.

The Power of F.E. & Merry Christmas!

Well, it’s happened. I officially broke my computer, and it wasn’t from watching “gangbang” porn.

J and I were camming with our sexy Alaska friends, and he decided to have them watch me FE. Mind you, we have tried this once before and my FE screwed up J’s mousepad on his computer. Using rubbing alcohol on the mousepad seemed to fix it that time. BUT THIS TIME, we are pretty sure my FE flew across the keyboard and landed in the tiny crack separating the keyboard from the hinge of the laptop, frying some RAM or something. Who knows. My computer made some high-pitched squeeling noises for a while- it sounded like a pig dying :-( At least it was really hot, and our sexy friends said it was a beautiful money shot!

Anyways, we will be off the day after Christmas to go to the Mac store… and hopefully we can dodge the question of “So what exactly happened to your computer?”

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to all of our sexy friends! And go enjoy some sexy times! (But try not to break any expensive electronics while doing so :-)