Recent Reads & Views

I hafta throw it out there (with everyone and their mother) that the strangers making out video is outrageously delightful. I also love that there are two same-sex pairs in the mix. Watching the transformation from awkward to blissed and happy is awesome. (Thanks Jezebel for womping down the mood- it is an ad for clothes. Oh well.)

Feminism is having a wardrobe malfunction: I want the whole damn pie, thank you very much!

Hot Sex…with 35 People: practice safer sex folks! Get tested, use barriers, talk to you partners :) Also, how cool are these commercials? Sexy, arty- a lot like Xart, no?

The Duke student and porn star pieces. This woman is fucking fantastic. All the power and love to her. Slut-shaming and patriarchy and sex work-negative culture has barraged her, and while that sucks, I am also so proud of this person for finding the courage to speak publicly about her experiences.

-I’m The Duke University Freshman Porn Star And For The First Time I’m Telling The Story In My Words

-I’m Finally Revealing My Name and Face As the Duke Porn Star

I am also making my way through my first book on BDD (Understanding Body Dysmorphic Disorder)- it’s like a whole huge part of myself is articulated and written down. I’ve been reading it, feeling hopeful and then depressed and then relieved and then more depressed. But overall, it’s been so helpful to know that what I’ve been dealing with for the majority of my life is a thing that I haven’t been making up.

Anything good on your phone/tablet/computer/nightstand recently?

Kissing & Hook-ups

In the March issue of Psychology Today, there are two pieces that I wanted to discuss here. One is a short snippet on kissing. Interestingly, a study published in Evolutionary Psychology found that far more men than women would have sex with someone without kissing that person first (53% of men versus 14% of women). Would you have sex without kissing them first? (I know I wouldn’t. Well, for the most part :) )

Another interesting finding from a study published in Western Journal of Communication found that couples who increased their kissing time (variable unknown- how long did couples increase their kissing time to?) experienced lower stress over time. The piece mentions that “just 15 minutes worth of kissing…can reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol”- but I don’t know if that is 15 minutes per week or what. (J and I have been joking that it must be 15 minutes a day! Go get it!)

Another, longer piece discussed casual sex and hook-ups, and recent studies indicating that many young people who have casual sex later regret it. Gender-based differences were found in these studies: in “a collection of studies in the Archives of Sexual Behavior… [demonstrated that] On average, women most regretted the sex that they had; men were more likely to regret the sex they didn’t.” Women tended to be more regretful of losing their virginity to the “wrong person” while men tended to regret not being more “sexually intrepid.”

Have you ever regretted a casual sex encounter? Why? What happened?

I think this gets into a larger question about regret and the meaning of sex. If you learned something, do you necessarily need to regret it? Is your regret based on the meaning you ascribe to sex? What do you all think?

Recent Reads

Many Teens Admit To Coercing Others Into Sex
Consent people- teach your kids, please.
 
What Humans Can Learn From A Simple Kiss
I thought this was a neat article! I love the Inuit kiss the author mentions near the end. I’m going to start doing it :D

 
All My Exes Live in Texts: Why the Social Media Generation Never Really Breaks Up
Still working on this last one- it’s long! But really interesting! And definitely resonates with me.

Read up! :)