I started a sex gratitude journal about six months ago. It was a really fabulous way for me to reconnect with the reality of my life and the many sexual connections and blessings I had/have in my life.
I believe that I start the projects that I need to, that I end those that are done for the time being, and that I experience those things that will teach me something. If I am able to pause and notice, there is something worth learning in every moment. Amidst gross feelings of whatever shade and shape, it can be challenging to notice the lessons. But they’re there.
Inspired by a dear friend, I have recently curtailed my use of Facebook. For the past year or more, it has sucked so much time and energy away from my life. J said he recently heard that the result of a new study found that Facebook users who simply observed the website had a marked decrease in happiness, while those who were active users (interacting with other users on the site), had an increase in social connectivity and happiness. That makes sense to me, and I know for myself that I enjoy connecting with others on the site. But when I click on the FB app on my phone or click the bookmark in my browser like a mindless social media drone, I’m doing it wrong. For me, anyway, it’s wrong. And unhelpful. And a major time-suck. And it is during those times, when I have no goal or use for checking Facebook, that I do experience some unhappiness in watching the fake lives of many fake friends scroll by. So my goal: log on once a day, with a distinct purpose (I want to post this interesting article for our group, or send a message to so-and-so, etc.). So far, for the past couple of days, I have logged on maybe three times each day. A major decrease from my estimated clicks of about 20 times a day (I think that estimate might be low).
Also, I decided that in my never-ending quest to be nice to myself and my body, that I needed to re-start a food journal. At first, it was going to be a simple catalog of the food I ate. But I think I have now decided that I want it to be a food gratitude journal. Feeling grateful for all of the nourishment and love I am able to provide to my body, I am hoping, will help me refocus my energies on the purpose of food in my life: nourishment, love, health, connection, celebration, and comfort. I am also hoping that this refocus will take away energy from what I have traditionally focused on: not being the right shape or size, not being thin enough, feeling guilty or remorseful over food previously eaten, and feeling anxious about food to be eaten.
I stopped keeping track of my sexual connections and explorations and adventures a few months ago when I started back at school. It became less and less of a priority as I felt like I had a handle on feeling conscious of and grateful for all of the sexual energy in my life. I think that certain things pass, and come around again, as I need them to.
I’m sure that in a few weeks or months, I will lose the drive to read one of my self-written affirmations every morning and night, and that I’ll stop journaling about food. And it’s always possible I will re-start my sex gratitude journal. The exercises are important for me in reclaiming and remembering my sense of gratitude and love to myself and those around me.
Do you have any daily gratitude or mindfulness practices?