I have been loving Dan Savage’s new book, American Savage. Not done with it just yet, but I will be soon!
In honor of Pride Month, and in honor of supportive and loving family, friends, and allies everywhere, one of many favorite passages from Dan Savage’s new book:
“Thanks to Father Tom and my mother’s own moral sense, the same moral sense that prompted her to trust her own judgment about contraception, my mother came around on the my-son-is-gay issue pretty fast. And she came out swinging. A rainbow bumper sticker on her car, a PFLAG membership card in her purse, and an ultimatum delivered to the entire extended family: I was still her son; and anyone who had a problem with me had a much bigger problem with her” (p11).
I have loved a lot of this book so far- there are essays on coming out as gay, monogamy and cheating (I have a post on that coming up), the straight pride parade (Halloween), sex education, on choosing to be gay, how his GGG mantra keeps marriages and families together, and more. But for some reason that quote from the very beginning has stuck with me the most. I think it is because I have been aggravated deeply about my mom’s conflicted support of my sister’s relationship with her first girlfriend. My mom is concerned about her extended family’s comfort level in seeing my sister and her girlfriend at my wedding. WTF.
Why is my mom’s concern not about my sister’s comfort level in being around a bunch of bigots??
This may not be resolved for me until I talk to my mom about it. Because my sister, who I love deeply and unconditionally, is bringing her girlfriend to our party this summer, and I want them to dance together and kiss each other just as she might with a boyfriend. I want them to feel comfortable and happy and loved. Just like I plan to.