“I WAS 17 WHEN my sexual education began.
‘You are responsible for your own orgasm,’ my boyfriend told me. He was the guy I lost my virginity to, the guy I had my first orgasm with, and the guy whose words would one day become my mantra: I am responsible for my own orgasm. I believe that literally and figuratively. In bed, I play an active role in getting what I want. But I also take charge of getting what I want throughout my sexual life. That’s why, along with a husband I adore, I have lovers. My husband and I have an open marriage. I know it may sound decadent, or like a throwback to the ‘free love’ of the ’60s. But really, for all the hype, ‘open marriage’ is just one of many ways to negotiate love and sex and marriage. We haven’t been doing it that long, but it now seems so obvious. Like, ‘Why on earth didn’t we think of this before?'”
Why do I love this quote? Because she so succinctly and clearly articulates a message of sexual and romantic liberation and empowerment. I think if everyone took to heart this message, we would all have more satisfying romantic, emotional, and sexual relationships. It is so, so important: you are responsible for your own “orgasm” (your own literal orgasms, and for your own sexual and romantic and emotional satisfaction in general). You also choose to be responsible or not. Do it.